Oh, and I'm down another pound. BOOYAH!
Now, for the fun stuff: I had a Diane Keaton Baby Boomer moment the other day.
So, you know where she's becoming a success in her own right and has made this great baby food? She meets with execs in the boardroom to see what they will offer her for her new company. They make her an offer which would effectively change her life forever. Millions. MILLIONS. But she has learned through the experience to trust her own instincts and make things happen herself.
Here's my day. I was invited to submit my name to Bristol Who's Who, you know, based on all me wildly successful undertakings, and all. It was based on my writing, I guess. Anyway, I thought, "why not check it out?"
So, I submit my application, writing a brilliant analysis of my journey to all the success I'm surrounded by, (What is that smell? Is that . . . yea, it is: SARCASM!) and click the SUBMIT button. Next day, I get a phone call. A charming young woman tells me the benefits of being a member: a certificate of achievement, being featured on the home page of the site, immediate networking boon, being one of thousands of members listed in the hardbound edition, deep discounts on business things, I mean, for a freebie, this had me quite excited! Sign me up!
"Now, you have the option of a five-year membership for $798. or a lifetime membership for only $998. Which sounds best to you?"
"Uh . . . neither."
"Listen, because I think you're sooooooooo special, I'm going to give you the lifetime for the cost of the five-year. Now, how would you like your name to read on the certificate?"
Yes, that was me hanging up on this money-making opportunity of a lifetime.
It's kind of like my relationships. I could never love someone who was stupid enough to love me. Why on earth would I pay for the privilege of networking with folks so desperate to achieve notoriety this second that they are willing to pay for it? Is that really networking at all? I mean, if I really was such a success, wouldn't they want me for free? Exactly!
No, thank you, I think I'll do this one on my own. *Mic drop* Diane Keaton exits the building.