Blooming Women
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  • About Blooming Women
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  • Happy Birthday, Blooming Women! One Year Today!
  • Blog—Maniacal Musings—Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
  • Blog—Jessica's Journey—Jessica VanVactor, Guest Contributor
  • Blog—My Armenia—Carol Rickman's Blog
  • Dealing with miscarriage
  • My Story
  • Circles
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Being Single
  • 5 Stages of divorce recovery
  • The Circus is in Town
  • (You're covered with) The Fingerprints of God
  • Thunder Roared and Love Soared
  • A Period Piece
  • A sneak preview of the Gertie sequel!
  • Six Steps to Cultivate your Femininity in the Business World
  • Chore Zoning or Don't try this at home!
  • The 50 with Meredith Morse—Opera Singer
  • The 50 with Jessica VanVactor
  • Memorizing Joy
  • AT LAST! My interview with Shan White, Life Coach for women in transition
  • Questions and statements we don't care if we never, ever get asked or told again (am I right, girls?)
  • The Date
  • Moonshadow's Spirit
  • Broken Writer + Hypnotherapy = Amazing Trips
  • The "R" Word
  • The 50 with Carol Shepherd Rickman
  • Triumph During Transitions
  • A Kentucky Afternoon
  • Mothers
  • 10 things chemo taught me
  • What if . . .
  • Forgiveness—A poem
  • Mantegories (n. from the Latin; man+categories)
  • Insomnia 101
  • Blooming Bud Interview: Sierra
  • Masterful Mindsets
  • It's in the bag!
  • Important lessons for children: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can
  • Nursery rhymes, and times, and slimes, and grimes, and crimes
  • Things I learned as a single mom
  • Sadie's Soapbox: Dating
  • The Dress
  • 8 Things That Have Surprised Me About Having a Large Family
  • The gift of longing
  • The Semicolon Project
  • Most embarrassing moments—culinary edition
  • MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
  • About those elusive wisps of thought
  • Being there
  • The Giving Mom
  • How I still haven't learned to keep my smart mouth shut!
  • If you give a mom a cookie . . .
  • Cacti and Geraniums
  • The Three Gardeners
  • Beauty is as beauty does
  • Words for Sabra
  • Arm scratching in Baltimore
  • Pornography didn't kill our love and friendship . . . I did . . . and how we got it back
  • Hardening off our little bloomers
  • The Wonderful, Magical Women of Blooming Television
  • Shake it like a Polaroid picture!
  • 25 Date Nights (that aren't dinner and a movie)
  • Hills Like White Elephants
  • Maryland Beaten Biscuits
  • The night we thought the house was exploding
  • A mysterious case of goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
  • Militareality—Real stories of military wives
  • Finding my metal in wood
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Chariot of Fire
  • Secret gifts of love
  • The best prank I ever pulled was . . .
  • Connie
  • Dating and other hazards
  • Favorite childhood memories
  • When God speaks . . .
  • Zanie gets into another sticky situation
  • No-see-ums: A little useful information
  • I love my kids, but . . .
  • Meg's poem
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
  • I love my cat, but . . .
  • I love all creatures, but . . .
  • The thing all girls and women must see and know . . .
  • The Great Chicken Debacle
  • The Powerful Influence of Brothers
  • How I feel about blooming is . . .
  • Sometimes grandma is up—other times she is simply upside-down
  • Anyone out there as anxious as I am?
  • Some of my funniest childhood memories are . . .
  • You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
  • This month's survey:
  • Another Blooming Bud interview
  • The most valuable life lesson I've learned is . . .
  • The greatest blessing to come out of the most painful thing I ever experienced was . . .
  • The most powerful influence on my life is . . .
  • The thing that could have broken our family, but didn't was . . .
  • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .
  • The time my dad really surprised me was when . . .
  • NEW FEATURE: Interviews with Blooming Buds
  • ANOTHER NEW FEATURE: A survey
  • The most valuable life lesson I've ever learned is . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • One of the most fun days I ever had was . . .
  • The most scared I've ever been was when . . .
  • The people who have been the biggest influence on me are . . .
  • I like to relax by . . .
  • The best way to do . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • The most fun I ever had was when . . .
  • When I grow up, I want to be . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • The most amazing bargain I ever found was . . .
  • Those annoying things kids do and what they mean
  • My shameless self-promotion
  • The thing about getting older is . . .
Luetta Violet and Chandler Shepherd, grandma and grandpa, one of the few times they were together.

cacti and geraniums

By Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
A great juxtaposition from my childhood
Listen here, but please forgive Mr. Bingley for his noisy feline contribution!
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Grandma Shepherd always had two things on her great front porch. Cacti and geraniums. How is that for juxtaposition? The cacti, much like her, were armed with sharp needles for protection, but were so resilient that they could withstand months without nourishment. She was a woman with so much pain, she had to put out sharp barbs for her own preservation, but she was so tough that she could survive the long months without grandpa to give her emotional nourishment. Grandpa Shepherd worked the railroad and was so rarely home that she was pretty much a railroad widow.

One of her cacti was this monstrous creation with huge spines that she kept out in the middle of her front yard. Why she placed this cactus in the middle of the area where all her children and grandchildren and eventually great-grandchildren played remains a mystery to me today. I guess maybe I don’t want to think why she might have put it there. But, predictably, there occasionally were large spines pulled out of painful knees.


Picture
Then there were the geraniums. Geraniums are so pleasing to the eye, with their gloriously colorful blossoms. Hers were always bright red. But geraniums, for all their gaudy showiness, are extremely delicate and frail. The petals bruise easily and wilt when touched. Could this be the 'she' that she dreamed of being? Stunningly beautiful, bright and cheery, admired by all who look upon you but requiring constant care and attention.

I remember most fondly those lovely geraniums with their intensely scarlet petals. We would pick up the ones that had dropped and squeeze them until they finally relinquished a lovely red “lipstick” which we applied generously to our young lips. Grandma would tease us about being painted ladies. But in our blossoming minds, we were glam queens just waiting for the opportunity to attract prospective kings. I recently found out that they are toxic, which could explain a lot.

I guess if the truth be told, we are all part cactus and part geranium. We are trying to use our beauty to attract and please people. But all the while we arm ourselves with spines to prevent emotional injury inflicted by them. Finding the balance between our beauty and our barbs is one of our greatest challenges. 

I know I’m not alone in the fact that I struggle in a world where beauty is paramount and I esteem myself as grossly unqualified. I get heartsick when I hear of children literally dying to look like the images they see in the media. Maybe its time to let go of the prickles and re-define beauty. Someone I was chatting with online with asked me if I was sexy. I hit him with an onslaught, much like one of my favorite heroines from TV sitcomdom, Dixie Carter of Designing Women. She had the ability to formulate rebuttals in realtime. In contrast, I formulate the most eloquent and heartfelt rebuttals approximately 45 minutes after I should be sleeping, but am, instead, lying awake kicking myself for not being able to spew meaningful soliloquies on demand. Anyway, this time I was able to venomize my new opponent with a little more clarity than usual. My reply was, “I am a single mother and grandmother. I work a full-time job and several part-time jobs to support them as they complete their schooling. I cook our meals from scratch. I spend time with them. I laugh with them. I struggle to pay the bills, but am not bitter about it. I spend most Saturday nights alone. I am a righteous mother In Zion, chaste and striving for purity. I uphold the commandments of God as diligently as I can. I am a kind of sexy which you may never understand.”

So, to all those who struggle with cacti and geraniums, here’s to us. May we help the world to redefine beauty! 


Like Becky Lyn Rickman's story? Here's more by her:
MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
Being There
How I still haven't learn to keep my smart mouth shut!
Some mysterious goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
Finding my metal in wood
Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
I love my cat, but . . . 
I love all creatures, but . . .
You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
My shot at the big time
A cautionary tale
Why I do it
How I chill
How to clean up an egg and other helpful hints
Most embarrassing moments—automotive edition
The thing about getting older is . . .
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