Blooming Women
  • Bl(oom)ing Women Accessory Salon
  • Home + Table of Contents
  • Watch us grow!
  • About Blooming Women
  • About Being a Contributor
  • Contact
  • Happy Birthday, Blooming Women! One Year Today!
  • Blog—Maniacal Musings—Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
  • Blog—Jessica's Journey—Jessica VanVactor, Guest Contributor
  • Blog—My Armenia—Carol Rickman's Blog
  • Dealing with miscarriage
  • My Story
  • Circles
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Being Single
  • 5 Stages of divorce recovery
  • The Circus is in Town
  • (You're covered with) The Fingerprints of God
  • Thunder Roared and Love Soared
  • A Period Piece
  • A sneak preview of the Gertie sequel!
  • Six Steps to Cultivate your Femininity in the Business World
  • Chore Zoning or Don't try this at home!
  • The 50 with Meredith Morse—Opera Singer
  • The 50 with Jessica VanVactor
  • Memorizing Joy
  • AT LAST! My interview with Shan White, Life Coach for women in transition
  • Questions and statements we don't care if we never, ever get asked or told again (am I right, girls?)
  • The Date
  • Moonshadow's Spirit
  • Broken Writer + Hypnotherapy = Amazing Trips
  • The "R" Word
  • The 50 with Carol Shepherd Rickman
  • Triumph During Transitions
  • A Kentucky Afternoon
  • Mothers
  • 10 things chemo taught me
  • What if . . .
  • Forgiveness—A poem
  • Mantegories (n. from the Latin; man+categories)
  • Insomnia 101
  • Blooming Bud Interview: Sierra
  • Masterful Mindsets
  • It's in the bag!
  • Important lessons for children: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can
  • Nursery rhymes, and times, and slimes, and grimes, and crimes
  • Things I learned as a single mom
  • Sadie's Soapbox: Dating
  • The Dress
  • 8 Things That Have Surprised Me About Having a Large Family
  • The gift of longing
  • The Semicolon Project
  • Most embarrassing moments—culinary edition
  • MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
  • About those elusive wisps of thought
  • Being there
  • The Giving Mom
  • How I still haven't learned to keep my smart mouth shut!
  • If you give a mom a cookie . . .
  • Cacti and Geraniums
  • The Three Gardeners
  • Beauty is as beauty does
  • Words for Sabra
  • Arm scratching in Baltimore
  • Pornography didn't kill our love and friendship . . . I did . . . and how we got it back
  • Hardening off our little bloomers
  • The Wonderful, Magical Women of Blooming Television
  • Shake it like a Polaroid picture!
  • 25 Date Nights (that aren't dinner and a movie)
  • Hills Like White Elephants
  • Maryland Beaten Biscuits
  • The night we thought the house was exploding
  • A mysterious case of goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
  • Militareality—Real stories of military wives
  • Finding my metal in wood
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Chariot of Fire
  • Secret gifts of love
  • The best prank I ever pulled was . . .
  • Connie
  • Dating and other hazards
  • Favorite childhood memories
  • When God speaks . . .
  • Zanie gets into another sticky situation
  • No-see-ums: A little useful information
  • I love my kids, but . . .
  • Meg's poem
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
  • I love my cat, but . . .
  • I love all creatures, but . . .
  • The thing all girls and women must see and know . . .
  • The Great Chicken Debacle
  • The Powerful Influence of Brothers
  • How I feel about blooming is . . .
  • Sometimes grandma is up—other times she is simply upside-down
  • Anyone out there as anxious as I am?
  • Some of my funniest childhood memories are . . .
  • You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
  • This month's survey:
  • Another Blooming Bud interview
  • The most valuable life lesson I've learned is . . .
  • The greatest blessing to come out of the most painful thing I ever experienced was . . .
  • The most powerful influence on my life is . . .
  • The thing that could have broken our family, but didn't was . . .
  • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .
  • The time my dad really surprised me was when . . .
  • NEW FEATURE: Interviews with Blooming Buds
  • ANOTHER NEW FEATURE: A survey
  • The most valuable life lesson I've ever learned is . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • One of the most fun days I ever had was . . .
  • The most scared I've ever been was when . . .
  • The people who have been the biggest influence on me are . . .
  • I like to relax by . . .
  • The best way to do . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • The most fun I ever had was when . . .
  • When I grow up, I want to be . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • The most amazing bargain I ever found was . . .
  • Those annoying things kids do and what they mean
  • My shameless self-promotion
  • The thing about getting older is . . .

Finding my metal in wood

By Becky Lyn Rickman, Staff Contributor
The continuing education adventures of a single mom
At 38, I got my first divorce. I found myself a “displaced homemaker”, as defined by The Department of Social Services in Wayne County, NY. I was out of my home, with 4 children in tow, and nowhere to go. The circumstances are complicated, but that’s where things stood. I found myself in the midst of a great new adventure and that’s how I tried to make it look to the kids. Oh, boy, we get to find a new home and mom gets to have some sort of training, which is what they do when you are a “displaced homemaker”. We got a lovely home, some food stamps, and when they asked me what sort of training I would like, my response was immediate. Without having to think, I blurted out, “I want to be a carpenter.” 

Now the reason for this was that I had two uncles in NC who were master cabinetmakers. I would sit and admire the lovely pieces of furniture they would craft and I was in complete awe. I wanted to do that. So, before I knew it, I was enrolled in the local Vo-Tech and learning how to use very loud and powerful tools. I attended this class in jeans, steel-toed work boots and flannel shirts. We studied our lessons and read from books. But then, we got to actually build things. I mean, real things for real people. We built an attached garage for one family. We built a wood foundation for another. (author’s note: did you know that 1” of wood = 12” of cinderblock as far as insulation goes? See, Mr. S? I remember!) We installed windows, put on roofs and installed an electric garage door opener. 

The best part was that I was in a class with fifteen 16-year old boys and one very possessive 16-year old girl. I learned about so much more than wood that year. I learned about interpersonal relations. I learned about standing up for myself. I learned that I could look people in the eye. I learned that I could measure and make a cut within 1/64th of an inch. But, more importantly, I learned that I could learn. My self-esteem, which was pretty much in the toilet from 17 years in an oppressive marriage, rose like a barometer in an approaching storm. And, the best part? I got asked to prom! 

I made the mistake of laughing when this child who was younger than most of mine asked me, because I thought he was razzing me. He wasn't. I'm so sorry! But going with him would have broken a few vital state laws and I wasn't up for that.

My expertise was quickly put to use when I shrugged off my dependence on the State of New York and moved to Worcester, MA and got a job at Continental Consolidated Industries, a cabinetry shop that made cosmetics counters for fine department stores. I worked on cabinetry for Clinique (above) and Lancombe, among others. There I was, working night shift in jeans and flannels with my leather tool belt and making things for froo-froo women, dreaming of being one. 

Years later, this experience allowed me to enter the college classroom as an older adult. There, I took a variety of classes and learned that I could retain more than water. I loved attending with the myriad of adults, a full spectrum of ethnicities, a huge span of ages, all there to learn. I love learning. I am one of those really odd ducks who loves to be tested on what I learn. I even like cafeteria food! 


My schooling was interrupted by a second marriage to a guy I thought was the best friend I had ever had. And I can tell you with boldness and assurety, I learned more from him than in any classroom. And, not to diminish the wondrous things I learned in those classrooms, but the lessons I have learned are more critically important than how to use a lathe or make a sociologic study of demographics. I am learning how tough I am and how I can endure pain and find joy and though it is the most difficult work around, how to make a life work post-second-divorce. 

Like Becky Lyn Rickman's story? Here's more by her:
MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
Being There
How I still haven't learn to keep my smart mouth shut!
Cacti and Geraniums
Some mysterious goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
I love my cat, but . . . 
I love all creatures, but . . .
You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
My shot at the big time
A cautionary tale
Why I do it
How I chill
How to clean up an egg and other helpful hints
Most embarrassing moments—automotive edition
The thing about getting older is . . .
Copyright © 2014 by Rent's Due Publications

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