Blooming Women
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  • About Blooming Women
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  • Happy Birthday, Blooming Women! One Year Today!
  • Blog—Maniacal Musings—Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
  • Blog—Jessica's Journey—Jessica VanVactor, Guest Contributor
  • Blog—My Armenia—Carol Rickman's Blog
  • Dealing with miscarriage
  • My Story
  • Circles
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Being Single
  • 5 Stages of divorce recovery
  • The Circus is in Town
  • (You're covered with) The Fingerprints of God
  • Thunder Roared and Love Soared
  • A Period Piece
  • A sneak preview of the Gertie sequel!
  • Six Steps to Cultivate your Femininity in the Business World
  • Chore Zoning or Don't try this at home!
  • The 50 with Meredith Morse—Opera Singer
  • The 50 with Jessica VanVactor
  • Memorizing Joy
  • AT LAST! My interview with Shan White, Life Coach for women in transition
  • Questions and statements we don't care if we never, ever get asked or told again (am I right, girls?)
  • The Date
  • Moonshadow's Spirit
  • Broken Writer + Hypnotherapy = Amazing Trips
  • The "R" Word
  • The 50 with Carol Shepherd Rickman
  • Triumph During Transitions
  • A Kentucky Afternoon
  • Mothers
  • 10 things chemo taught me
  • What if . . .
  • Forgiveness—A poem
  • Mantegories (n. from the Latin; man+categories)
  • Insomnia 101
  • Blooming Bud Interview: Sierra
  • Masterful Mindsets
  • It's in the bag!
  • Important lessons for children: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can
  • Nursery rhymes, and times, and slimes, and grimes, and crimes
  • Things I learned as a single mom
  • Sadie's Soapbox: Dating
  • The Dress
  • 8 Things That Have Surprised Me About Having a Large Family
  • The gift of longing
  • The Semicolon Project
  • Most embarrassing moments—culinary edition
  • MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
  • About those elusive wisps of thought
  • Being there
  • The Giving Mom
  • How I still haven't learned to keep my smart mouth shut!
  • If you give a mom a cookie . . .
  • Cacti and Geraniums
  • The Three Gardeners
  • Beauty is as beauty does
  • Words for Sabra
  • Arm scratching in Baltimore
  • Pornography didn't kill our love and friendship . . . I did . . . and how we got it back
  • Hardening off our little bloomers
  • The Wonderful, Magical Women of Blooming Television
  • Shake it like a Polaroid picture!
  • 25 Date Nights (that aren't dinner and a movie)
  • Hills Like White Elephants
  • Maryland Beaten Biscuits
  • The night we thought the house was exploding
  • A mysterious case of goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
  • Militareality—Real stories of military wives
  • Finding my metal in wood
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Chariot of Fire
  • Secret gifts of love
  • The best prank I ever pulled was . . .
  • Connie
  • Dating and other hazards
  • Favorite childhood memories
  • When God speaks . . .
  • Zanie gets into another sticky situation
  • No-see-ums: A little useful information
  • I love my kids, but . . .
  • Meg's poem
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
  • I love my cat, but . . .
  • I love all creatures, but . . .
  • The thing all girls and women must see and know . . .
  • The Great Chicken Debacle
  • The Powerful Influence of Brothers
  • How I feel about blooming is . . .
  • Sometimes grandma is up—other times she is simply upside-down
  • Anyone out there as anxious as I am?
  • Some of my funniest childhood memories are . . .
  • You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
  • This month's survey:
  • Another Blooming Bud interview
  • The most valuable life lesson I've learned is . . .
  • The greatest blessing to come out of the most painful thing I ever experienced was . . .
  • The most powerful influence on my life is . . .
  • The thing that could have broken our family, but didn't was . . .
  • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .
  • The time my dad really surprised me was when . . .
  • NEW FEATURE: Interviews with Blooming Buds
  • ANOTHER NEW FEATURE: A survey
  • The most valuable life lesson I've ever learned is . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • One of the most fun days I ever had was . . .
  • The most scared I've ever been was when . . .
  • The people who have been the biggest influence on me are . . .
  • I like to relax by . . .
  • The best way to do . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • The most fun I ever had was when . . .
  • When I grow up, I want to be . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • The most amazing bargain I ever found was . . .
  • Those annoying things kids do and what they mean
  • My shameless self-promotion
  • The thing about getting older is . . .

Moonshadow's spirit

By Sharon Mathiason, Guest Contributor
A loving mother's quest and discovery of the kind of woman her daughter really was.

PLEASE SEE IMPORTANT INFORMATION AND LINKS BELOW ARTICLE
“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.”  This quote, from Bansky 
(a narcissistic graffiti artist from Bristol, England), was probably intended to show he would “live” forever.  But if you are a parent who has lost a child, these words have a much deeper meaning.

My daughter, Jennifer, died February 21, 2009 at the age of 26.  I have no stories of her current accomplishments or her upcoming wedding or her children.  My entire being shouts, “She cannot be forgotten!  She will not be forgotten!  Her name was Jennifer and she lived and her name can’t disappear!” 

Shortly after Jenn’s death, I looked at her Facebook page to find consolation in the comments there.  What I found were messages of profound sadness from women all over the world.  Their names were unfamiliar to me.  And I needed to know how they knew my daughter.  When I contacted them, I heard stories of love and compassion and long-lasting friendship.

Jennifer suffered from an eating disorder for 10 years until she recovered in 2005.  It was during that time that Jenn joined an online support group of fellow sufferers.  Those Facebook friends shared many stories about my daughter.  “Jennifer called me and stayed up all night.”  “Jennifer visited me while I was in recovery.”  “Jennifer convinced me to get help.”  “Jennifer cheered me up when I was desperate.”

They also told me that there were many more friends from this online group who did not know Jenn by her given name.  They knew her simply as “Moonshadow”, her login name.  All of these other friends also wanted to share memories of the girl they knew as Moonshadow.  And I received dozens of anonymous messages.  Too many for me to share in a blog.  I’ll share a few.

“This is rather small and silly, but for some reason I remember the first time I noticed Moonshadow. … I was having one of those horrific, harrowing everything-is-wrong I-will-never-be-happy-again-ever days that only stupid teenage girls are able to have. And her reply made me laugh so hard. She was such a delightful, charming, wonderful person. I got a warm fuzzy feeling whenever I saw her avatar even without reading her words.  I can't imagine my having been more than the tiniest blip on her radar. But even someone like me, whom she barely knew, [liked] her so much. She didn’t even have to have had a personal relationship with someone to make someone like her. Her beauty and grace simply radiated.”

“Jenn's mission in life was to see her friends happy. She was quick to make someone smile or laugh, even at her own expense.”

“she was a pillar of support for so many individuals, constantly offering support.”

“Jen was bubbly and outgoing, caring and kind. I met her at 2 different  ... meetups and she was a lovely girl.”

“She was quite possibly the kindest person I have ever known, and that never waivered from her.”

“And I know you don't know me at all, but your daughter was amazing and one of the very best friends anyone could ever have, always.”

When I asked what would be a good memorial for Jennifer, it was one of those online friends who told me that Jenn was saddened that so many sufferers could not get help because of financial difficulties.  That’s when Moonshadow’s Spirit was created.  Our initial focus was to provide financial assistance.  And, in the five years since we began, we have given 45 awards totalling more than $100,000.  We have now expanded our mission to include awareness and, with awareness, we add advocacy.

In the 6 years since I first discovered my sweet Moonshadow, I’ve met so many of her friends from that support group.  They all make an effort to contact me and tell me how much they miss Jenn.  My daughter, the girl who called me every day.  My daughter, the girl who told me more than I might have wanted to know about her personal life.  My daughter, Moonshadow, kept these friends secret and safe and always loved.

I remember when Jenn was in high school, she asked me if I had ever heard of Cat Stevens.  I told her I had a CD of his songs.  I also told her that “Moonshadow” was my favorite song because it always made me smile.  It seems she took that name for the same purpose—to make people smile.  And now people who never met her tell me they feel her spirit helping them through recovery.

Yes, her name will continue to be spoken and she will live on.




For more information on eating disorders or Moonshadow's Spirit or do make a donation to the cause, please click here.


If you are a young woman who is suffering from an 
eating disorder, and need financial help, 
please click here to apply to Moonshadow's Spirit.

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