Questions and statements we don't care if we never, Ever get asked or told again (am i right, girls?)
By Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
A humorous look at questions and statements some pe♂ple think it's OK to ask and tell other pe♀ple and what is actually heard.
SAID: "Are you sure you want to wear that?"
HEARD: "I don't want to be seen with you. That outfit is hideous and makes you look awful!
SAID: "How much do you make?"
HEARD: " Ima quit my job and play X-Box all day with my guys. Hope you make enough for pizza."
SAID: "Am I better than any of your other boyfriends/husbands?"
HEARD: "I'm a pathetic loser and I am going to need you to constantly reassure me that I'm the best!"
SAID: "What's for dinner?"
HEARD: "I pay your way and you can't even have a meal on the table when I get home?"
SAID: "Is that a zit on your face?"
HEARD: "Oh, my word, it's like a giant glowing red light! We'd better stay home."
SAID: "Why do you do it that way? My mother/ex/grandmother/sister/aunt/best friend of the opposite sex/etc. did it completely differently."
HEARD: "What a moron! Don't you know anything? Get it right!"
SAID: "How old are you?"
HEARD: "You may or may not fit into my predetermined window of appropriate ages to date, which is basically 10 years (give or take 2 years) younger than me so that I can either maintain my youthful impression or appear to be enough of a stud that can get a younger trophy."
SAID: "How old do you think I am?"
HEARD: "Lie to me and you might be lucky enough to have a date with me."
SAID: "How many men have you had relationships with?"
HEARD: "Just how many men am I competing with. How much work am I going to have to do to win you over? Are you worth it?"
SAID: "I like my women with __________ (insert here: long hair, tight jeans, black turtlenecks, pearls, fewer pounds, younger, redder lipstick, no make-up, smaller feet, bigger hair, etc.)."
HEARD: "My love is extremely conditional and you will probably be dropped for the next cutie that crosses my path."
SAID: "Are you feeling OK? You look tired."
HEARD: "You look sick. I think we should call it a night and you should probably get some sleep, iron pills, exercise, sunshine, a new man."
SAID: "Does your dog/sister/friend have to go along?"
HEARD: "I have plans for us that don't include companionship/I am insecure and need you to show me how much you care about my by snubbing your loved ones/I am a self-centered person who doesn't care about your needs or feelings."
SAID: "Is it that time of the month?"
HEARD: "It could not possibly be that I'm an idiot or did something inappropriate. It must be your wacky hormones acting up."
And the queen mother of them all . . .
SAID: "What did you do all day?" (asked with a look of incredulity)
HEARD: "I work for a living. You have a life of luxury and you can't keep up with simple housework and children? You should try working for a change."
HEARD: "I don't want to be seen with you. That outfit is hideous and makes you look awful!
SAID: "How much do you make?"
HEARD: " Ima quit my job and play X-Box all day with my guys. Hope you make enough for pizza."
SAID: "Am I better than any of your other boyfriends/husbands?"
HEARD: "I'm a pathetic loser and I am going to need you to constantly reassure me that I'm the best!"
SAID: "What's for dinner?"
HEARD: "I pay your way and you can't even have a meal on the table when I get home?"
SAID: "Is that a zit on your face?"
HEARD: "Oh, my word, it's like a giant glowing red light! We'd better stay home."
SAID: "Why do you do it that way? My mother/ex/grandmother/sister/aunt/best friend of the opposite sex/etc. did it completely differently."
HEARD: "What a moron! Don't you know anything? Get it right!"
SAID: "How old are you?"
HEARD: "You may or may not fit into my predetermined window of appropriate ages to date, which is basically 10 years (give or take 2 years) younger than me so that I can either maintain my youthful impression or appear to be enough of a stud that can get a younger trophy."
SAID: "How old do you think I am?"
HEARD: "Lie to me and you might be lucky enough to have a date with me."
SAID: "How many men have you had relationships with?"
HEARD: "Just how many men am I competing with. How much work am I going to have to do to win you over? Are you worth it?"
SAID: "I like my women with __________ (insert here: long hair, tight jeans, black turtlenecks, pearls, fewer pounds, younger, redder lipstick, no make-up, smaller feet, bigger hair, etc.)."
HEARD: "My love is extremely conditional and you will probably be dropped for the next cutie that crosses my path."
SAID: "Are you feeling OK? You look tired."
HEARD: "You look sick. I think we should call it a night and you should probably get some sleep, iron pills, exercise, sunshine, a new man."
SAID: "Does your dog/sister/friend have to go along?"
HEARD: "I have plans for us that don't include companionship/I am insecure and need you to show me how much you care about my by snubbing your loved ones/I am a self-centered person who doesn't care about your needs or feelings."
SAID: "Is it that time of the month?"
HEARD: "It could not possibly be that I'm an idiot or did something inappropriate. It must be your wacky hormones acting up."
And the queen mother of them all . . .
SAID: "What did you do all day?" (asked with a look of incredulity)
HEARD: "I work for a living. You have a life of luxury and you can't keep up with simple housework and children? You should try working for a change."
|
|
|
Copyright © 2015 by Rent's Due Publications
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, click a button on any page to send email with details of the request.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, click a button on any page to send email with details of the request.