Blooming Women
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  • About Blooming Women
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  • Happy Birthday, Blooming Women! One Year Today!
  • Blog—Maniacal Musings—Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
  • Blog—Jessica's Journey—Jessica VanVactor, Guest Contributor
  • Blog—My Armenia—Carol Rickman's Blog
  • Dealing with miscarriage
  • My Story
  • Circles
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Being Single
  • 5 Stages of divorce recovery
  • The Circus is in Town
  • (You're covered with) The Fingerprints of God
  • Thunder Roared and Love Soared
  • A Period Piece
  • A sneak preview of the Gertie sequel!
  • Six Steps to Cultivate your Femininity in the Business World
  • Chore Zoning or Don't try this at home!
  • The 50 with Meredith Morse—Opera Singer
  • The 50 with Jessica VanVactor
  • Memorizing Joy
  • AT LAST! My interview with Shan White, Life Coach for women in transition
  • Questions and statements we don't care if we never, ever get asked or told again (am I right, girls?)
  • The Date
  • Moonshadow's Spirit
  • Broken Writer + Hypnotherapy = Amazing Trips
  • The "R" Word
  • The 50 with Carol Shepherd Rickman
  • Triumph During Transitions
  • A Kentucky Afternoon
  • Mothers
  • 10 things chemo taught me
  • What if . . .
  • Forgiveness—A poem
  • Mantegories (n. from the Latin; man+categories)
  • Insomnia 101
  • Blooming Bud Interview: Sierra
  • Masterful Mindsets
  • It's in the bag!
  • Important lessons for children: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can
  • Nursery rhymes, and times, and slimes, and grimes, and crimes
  • Things I learned as a single mom
  • Sadie's Soapbox: Dating
  • The Dress
  • 8 Things That Have Surprised Me About Having a Large Family
  • The gift of longing
  • The Semicolon Project
  • Most embarrassing moments—culinary edition
  • MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
  • About those elusive wisps of thought
  • Being there
  • The Giving Mom
  • How I still haven't learned to keep my smart mouth shut!
  • If you give a mom a cookie . . .
  • Cacti and Geraniums
  • The Three Gardeners
  • Beauty is as beauty does
  • Words for Sabra
  • Arm scratching in Baltimore
  • Pornography didn't kill our love and friendship . . . I did . . . and how we got it back
  • Hardening off our little bloomers
  • The Wonderful, Magical Women of Blooming Television
  • Shake it like a Polaroid picture!
  • 25 Date Nights (that aren't dinner and a movie)
  • Hills Like White Elephants
  • Maryland Beaten Biscuits
  • The night we thought the house was exploding
  • A mysterious case of goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
  • Militareality—Real stories of military wives
  • Finding my metal in wood
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Chariot of Fire
  • Secret gifts of love
  • The best prank I ever pulled was . . .
  • Connie
  • Dating and other hazards
  • Favorite childhood memories
  • When God speaks . . .
  • Zanie gets into another sticky situation
  • No-see-ums: A little useful information
  • I love my kids, but . . .
  • Meg's poem
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
  • I love my cat, but . . .
  • I love all creatures, but . . .
  • The thing all girls and women must see and know . . .
  • The Great Chicken Debacle
  • The Powerful Influence of Brothers
  • How I feel about blooming is . . .
  • Sometimes grandma is up—other times she is simply upside-down
  • Anyone out there as anxious as I am?
  • Some of my funniest childhood memories are . . .
  • You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
  • This month's survey:
  • Another Blooming Bud interview
  • The most valuable life lesson I've learned is . . .
  • The greatest blessing to come out of the most painful thing I ever experienced was . . .
  • The most powerful influence on my life is . . .
  • The thing that could have broken our family, but didn't was . . .
  • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .
  • The time my dad really surprised me was when . . .
  • NEW FEATURE: Interviews with Blooming Buds
  • ANOTHER NEW FEATURE: A survey
  • The most valuable life lesson I've ever learned is . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • One of the most fun days I ever had was . . .
  • The most scared I've ever been was when . . .
  • The people who have been the biggest influence on me are . . .
  • I like to relax by . . .
  • The best way to do . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • The most fun I ever had was when . . .
  • When I grow up, I want to be . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • The most amazing bargain I ever found was . . .
  • Those annoying things kids do and what they mean
  • My shameless self-promotion
  • The thing about getting older is . . .
My sweetie, Hannah Marie Jones! What a joy!

The "R" Word

By Patty Jones, Guest Contributor
One mother's love expresses many more mothers' anguish and pain. 
It's time to stop and listen.
I have something on my mind that I have to share this morning. 

Years ago, I took a pledge to not use the "R" word. It is very demeaning to people that have mental disabilities. I have a daughter, of whom I am very proud. She happens to have a mental disability. I have seen people make fun of her. It hurt me, probably just as much as it hurt her. I have recently seen post on Facebook and talked to people that have no sense about what this word does to the person, or their family. 

Just yesterday, while at a dentist, there was a mother and daughter there. The daughter just kept staring at Hannah and making comments. First, if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all. Second, if you want to know about my daughter, just ask, I love talking about her and how proud I am of her. She is my Hero! Now for a little education, I am going to give you a scenario of how you can change by not using this word. 

Dialogue Scenario: When a friend/family member uses the R-word

Person 1: I wish they would hurry, and I hope I don't look retarded.
Person 2: Hey, I would appreciate it if you didn’t use the word retard around me anymore.
Person 1: Oh don’t worry about it; it's just a slang word. Not a big deal.
Person 2: It actually is a big deal, when you use retard as a synonym for stupid or idiot, you are saying that my daughter and all people with intellectual disabilities are stupid, and that’s definitely not true.
Person 1: But I’m not making fun of people who are mentally retarded, it’s just a figure of speech, like I said, a slang word. It’s how I talk.
Person 2: The thing is, when you use the "R" word as slang, you really are hurting people with intellectual disabilities because of the negative connotation of your comment. The "R" word has been associated with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities since the word was conceived, so when you use the word in a negative context, you’re putting down people with intellectual disabilities, regardless of if you mean to or not.
Person 1: I appreciate what you’re saying, but I have said it most of my life. I couldn’t stop saying it if I tried.
Person 2: I’m not trying to tell you what you can or cannot say, but what I want you to recognize is that people with intellectual disabilities deserve respect, and using another word instead of the "R" word is one step towards making them feel respected and valued in society. They have enough challenges without this.
Person 1: OK, I can understand it might be hurtful to use the word when a person with an intellectual disability is around, but why does it matter now, when I’m just hanging out and joking with my friends?
Person 2: Using the "R" word doesn’t just hurt people with intellectual disabilities, but it also hurts their friends and families. Having seen the hurt that the "R" word can cause, I know it’s important for me to take a stand and try to change the conversation. I hope you can understand why it hurts and upsets me when the "R" word is used and why I would appreciate if you chose another word to use.
Person 1: I’m sorry; I didn’t realize how much the "R" word upset you. I will try to use another word instead.
Person 2: Thank you for understanding.

I also, personally want to add, you grow up around a mother or father and you worship the ground they walk on. Then as they age, they may get Alzheimer's or dementia. This is a very sad situation, I know first hand, as my mother-in-law is in the later stages of it. You take care of the one that cared for you for so long. You still love them dearly, then someone comes along and because they are now different, they are called the "R" word. How will you feel?

Or your child or someone that you love dearly is in a car wreck and they lose their mental capacities, how are you going to feel, knowing someone is calling them the "R" word. Enough said, I know by now you get the picture.

Thank you for understanding and choosing another word.
Copyright © 2015 by Rent's Due Publications

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