Blooming Women
  • Bl(oom)ing Women Accessory Salon
  • Home + Table of Contents
  • Watch us grow!
  • About Blooming Women
  • About Being a Contributor
  • Contact
  • Happy Birthday, Blooming Women! One Year Today!
  • Blog—Maniacal Musings—Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
  • Blog—Jessica's Journey—Jessica VanVactor, Guest Contributor
  • Blog—My Armenia—Carol Rickman's Blog
  • Dealing with miscarriage
  • My Story
  • Circles
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Being Single
  • 5 Stages of divorce recovery
  • The Circus is in Town
  • (You're covered with) The Fingerprints of God
  • Thunder Roared and Love Soared
  • A Period Piece
  • A sneak preview of the Gertie sequel!
  • Six Steps to Cultivate your Femininity in the Business World
  • Chore Zoning or Don't try this at home!
  • The 50 with Meredith Morse—Opera Singer
  • The 50 with Jessica VanVactor
  • Memorizing Joy
  • AT LAST! My interview with Shan White, Life Coach for women in transition
  • Questions and statements we don't care if we never, ever get asked or told again (am I right, girls?)
  • The Date
  • Moonshadow's Spirit
  • Broken Writer + Hypnotherapy = Amazing Trips
  • The "R" Word
  • The 50 with Carol Shepherd Rickman
  • Triumph During Transitions
  • A Kentucky Afternoon
  • Mothers
  • 10 things chemo taught me
  • What if . . .
  • Forgiveness—A poem
  • Mantegories (n. from the Latin; man+categories)
  • Insomnia 101
  • Blooming Bud Interview: Sierra
  • Masterful Mindsets
  • It's in the bag!
  • Important lessons for children: Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can
  • Nursery rhymes, and times, and slimes, and grimes, and crimes
  • Things I learned as a single mom
  • Sadie's Soapbox: Dating
  • The Dress
  • 8 Things That Have Surprised Me About Having a Large Family
  • The gift of longing
  • The Semicolon Project
  • Most embarrassing moments—culinary edition
  • MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
  • About those elusive wisps of thought
  • Being there
  • The Giving Mom
  • How I still haven't learned to keep my smart mouth shut!
  • If you give a mom a cookie . . .
  • Cacti and Geraniums
  • The Three Gardeners
  • Beauty is as beauty does
  • Words for Sabra
  • Arm scratching in Baltimore
  • Pornography didn't kill our love and friendship . . . I did . . . and how we got it back
  • Hardening off our little bloomers
  • The Wonderful, Magical Women of Blooming Television
  • Shake it like a Polaroid picture!
  • 25 Date Nights (that aren't dinner and a movie)
  • Hills Like White Elephants
  • Maryland Beaten Biscuits
  • The night we thought the house was exploding
  • A mysterious case of goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
  • Militareality—Real stories of military wives
  • Finding my metal in wood
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Chariot of Fire
  • Secret gifts of love
  • The best prank I ever pulled was . . .
  • Connie
  • Dating and other hazards
  • Favorite childhood memories
  • When God speaks . . .
  • Zanie gets into another sticky situation
  • No-see-ums: A little useful information
  • I love my kids, but . . .
  • Meg's poem
  • Another blooming bud interview
  • Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
  • I love my cat, but . . .
  • I love all creatures, but . . .
  • The thing all girls and women must see and know . . .
  • The Great Chicken Debacle
  • The Powerful Influence of Brothers
  • How I feel about blooming is . . .
  • Sometimes grandma is up—other times she is simply upside-down
  • Anyone out there as anxious as I am?
  • Some of my funniest childhood memories are . . .
  • You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
  • This month's survey:
  • Another Blooming Bud interview
  • The most valuable life lesson I've learned is . . .
  • The greatest blessing to come out of the most painful thing I ever experienced was . . .
  • The most powerful influence on my life is . . .
  • The thing that could have broken our family, but didn't was . . .
  • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .
  • The time my dad really surprised me was when . . .
  • NEW FEATURE: Interviews with Blooming Buds
  • ANOTHER NEW FEATURE: A survey
  • The most valuable life lesson I've ever learned is . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • One of the most fun days I ever had was . . .
  • The most scared I've ever been was when . . .
  • The people who have been the biggest influence on me are . . .
  • I like to relax by . . .
  • The best way to do . . .
  • My most embarrassing moment was when . . .
  • The most fun I ever had was when . . .
  • When I grow up, I want to be . . .
  • What really puzzles me is . . .
  • The most amazing bargain I ever found was . . .
  • Those annoying things kids do and what they mean
  • My shameless self-promotion
  • The thing about getting older is . . .

the thing about getting older is . . .

By Becky Lyn Rickman, Managing Editor
With things that are inevitable, it is sometimes better 
to laugh with the ranks than cry alone! 
I belong to a group of women, millions strong, who have too long been silent. It is time for a coming out party. We-we are not alone. We-we must band together and show our pride. We-we have nothing to be ashamed of. Will you come out of the closet—the water closet—and join us in shouting, 

"We are wet with no regret!"

We have borne children and climbed the bladder of success in raising them to be responsible adults! Forget your tea party politics. It is time to sign up for the Pee Party and proudly wear your translucent yellow ribbon, preferably somewhere north of your waist!

No longer must we hide behind a cloak of shame. Step out into the golden sunlight and say it with me:

"We spritz, therefore we are!"

We did our duty as women and the result is a natural ability to leave moisture wherever we go. Call us Damp Yankees, if you will! We will no longer be silent. 

We have needs. They are simple. Much more simple than the complexities of the lives we lead trying to scootch out backwards from a room when we sneeze or walk like we are holding a pencil between our thighs to the nearest restroom. 

"We are chic, even when we leak!"

Here's the thing. Sprinkling comes as easily to us as sneezing does to most people. When someone sneezes, the reaction is automatic. "God bless you!" or "Gezundheit! (Good health!)" and they might even hand you a napkin. 

But when you dribble, the reaction comes in the form of shrinking away and either repulsion, or thinking to themselves, "Oh, my word, I hope that never happens to me!"

It will. 

And it's time for the shame to stop. We must unite. We must stand proud . . . or croutch . . . or hold our legs tightly together and think of the desert. But we must do it with a united front. And rear.

We have Whoopie Goldberg and Kirstie Alley on our side! They are strong women with weak bladders at the helm of our movement, navigating us out of the rough . . . waters . . . be right back!

Here is our modest proposal:

  1. Restrooms in every department of every story—grocery, big box, department, boutique, thrift, consignment and convenience.  
  2. Making locked restrooms illegal. Waiting for someone to locate a key is completely insane. THERE IS NO TIME!
  3. Free wet wipes and Depends in every women's restroom. 
  4. A celebratory high-five from a kindred spirit whenever nature won't wait. 

A new friend on twitter, Eliza Nevin ‏@EtotheNev "Lying in bed, playing chicken with my bladder. I don't waaaaaant to get uuuuuuuuup."
 #grownup #whiner


Like Becky Lyn Rickman's story? Here's more by her:
MilitaReality—a brat's perspective
Being There
How I still haven't learn to keep my smart mouth shut!
Cacti and Geraniums
Some mysterious goosebumps or "What is that on the wall?"
Finding my metal in wood
Some of my favorite herbal recipes are . . .
I love my cat, but . . . 
I love all creatures, but . . .
You might be addicted to Harry Potter if . . .
My shot at the big time
A cautionary tale
Why I do it
How I chill
How to clean up an egg and other helpful hints
Most embarrassing moments—automotive edition

Copyright © 2014 by Rent's Due Publications

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, click a button on any page to send email with details of the request.
Submissions or Comments

Submit
Proudly powered by Weebly